My Dear Killer – “It seems that wherever I set, then somehow things fold up rather abruptly to the point I start thinking it’s my own responsibility”

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The first question would really be: where the hell you live? These pictures seem to have been taken by a trembling hand man living in a dark little room. That actually seems to pretty fit with the image of your label, Under My Bed. Time ago, if I’m not wrong, you told me that the name of the label came right from the fact that you are used to keep the stuff there, right?

That’s a funny one, and will require people to get a proper detail map, as I live in a sort of unknown place. In fact, there’s little to say about it but for the presence of a once known airplane factory, turn helicopters and a couple of discos young things used to crowd in the early nineties, now turned into Latin-American place and that’s that. It’s not so much of choice to keep living right here, but sometimes we have to take what life gives us, and the image you got from the picture is not so far from realty. Those were taken indeed in my room which is all but vast, and it is where I still keep, albeit a bit slowly and even more discontinuously, to operate Under My Bed. Dark probably too. I have quite a dislike for bright lights, even more when that’s artificial, let alone fluorescence tube. Thankfully enough my work takes me to spend a lot of time in almost full darkness or dim light anyway, which I enjoy a lot more. Whereas for the trembling hand, I am afraid, that’s just be rather inept at photography. Even worst when it comes to digital. It is as if I can never guess when the darn thing is on focus and I miss my little and cheap (not that the digital is expensive) analogue camera. It is just a feel asleep on a beach one, and me and it got covered in sand, so I had to kiss it goodbye. Still is somewhere, likely under my bed, where I still keep records and a lot of other stuff. We chose that name because, funnily enough, me and Marco, who cofounded the label, both had the same odd habit. So we shall share the merit and the blame.

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And, well, Swans. One of the happiest band ever has quite a good space in your collection. Do you still like them?

That’s right. Swans have been one of the most influential bands for me, particularly their initial discography and even more their “English” records. Of their latest work, in recordings, I still think “The Seer” is a very impressive one.

I’ve quitted to follow them after a concert of their latest reunion, I think it was the “Father will Guide Me…” tour. Too pompous, too full of themselves. What do you think about it?

Yes, I agree, I was far but impressed by the live set, I must admit. It was also one I was much looking forward to see because one way or another I always managed to miss out of them in the heydays. But partially the acoustic of the venue was horrid and the effect was just that of huge bundle mess in which any contribution was barely distinguishable, the sort of pseudo-ritual doesn’t get much grip on me, I fancy as-plain-as-possible attitude in everything, let alone music. So, for how much an admiration I have for them, and how much I still love several of their records, the concert was a bit of a letdown.

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I remember that you saw also a Godflesh concert in the same period (which year?) and you enjoyed it a lot more…

Fortunately I saw Godflesh a couple of days later, and that was absolutely stunning. Although sadly I can not manage to go to gig as I used and would wish to, I can rate that one as the best overall I have seen in about a lustre. To be honest, can not track the year back, but I must have been at least three or four years… or more.

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Yes, I see… Justin Broadrick is really a master. I also heard here from the guys of Paynomindtous that he’s really gentle and cool. Getting back to your collection, I saw these science books. I suppose you took that picture on purpose, and I well know your job as a scientist in the field of biophysics. If I’m not wrong you wrote an essay on the “Occulto” magazine, that is focused on art and science. How does your scientist job interact with yours as a musician (apart from the depression caused by your daily life in the incredible laboratories you showed me time ago)?

I actually took the picture most as a joke than anything else. And just the coincidence that many of the scientific book I keep at home, and that I got mostly from laboratories that got dismantled over the years… it seems that wherever I set, then somehow things fold up rather abruptly to the point I start thinking it’s my own responsibility somehow. Better not think about it. And yes, I did write a couple of pieces for Occulto magazine. It was a great pleasure and I hope there’ll be other chances. The Occulto volumes (I think all) are actually there on the shelve, but might be squeezed amongst more voluminous ones, so they don’t stand out. However, at the end of the day, my job has little to do with making music. No more, no less, than any other general life experience. Rather, as you say, working as a researcher, and in conditions far from optimal, or shall I dare saying, decent, drains quite a bit of time and energy out of making music. Ironically enough, it might have been the other way around. Since I have always enjoyed playing around with assembling/disassembling bits of (musical) instrumentation, that has made me more keen/confident with assembling/disassembling scientific instrumentation too. Which I enjoyed a lot, especially at the beginning. I still enjoy it, to be fair, but too often I ended up with some severe head-scratching and things not necessarily working. Yet, they were not working for a start. However, what I would really like to do, one day hopefully not to far, is to get the two things together and make a laboratory-based musical/sonic piece of work. Since entering the lab is like a jump straight of a time machine, needless to say, past direction, it’ll almost fall in the documentary/repository type of work. It’ll also will likely disappear soon, taken over by barbarians. Hence, I shall make a move before this lost corner of pioneering research will fade into oblivion. Would you be interested taking part in this folly?

My Dear Killer is, for a living, a researcher of biophysical processes of Photosynthesis; Bright Leader at the Popular Republic of Photosynthesis. He is the main person behind the eponymous sad-core/folk project and together with Marco Guizzi of Fog In The Shell, founded and still manage the tape/CD-R label Under My Bed Recordings. He has been also involved in different collaborations, either as My Dear Killer and more recently in a noise-acoustic duo Sad Cambodia. “Interested female vocalist please write” (Slint, cit.). |

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